Tuesday, December 31, 2002

Top 5 albums of the year, according to me:

  1. Jurassic 5 - Power In Numbers

  2. mcenroe - Convenience EP (Not really an album, but dope nonetheless. Watch for his Disenfranchised album in '03)

  3. Rocket From the Crypt - Live From Camp X-Ray

  4. El-P - Fantastic Damage

  5. Sixtoo - Duration

My resolutions(already posted at gigposters.com):

  1. Draw more(even though I'll be drawing constantly in school)

  2. Cut the laziness, procrastination...it sucks.

  3. Save more cash

  4. Spend less time on the web(I should be disconnecting at home today. If you don't hear from me for a while, I'm working, and hopefully not dead.)

  5. Live life to the fullest as much as possible(see point 4)

Hey...have fun in what ever y'all are doing tonight. Play safe. Don't fuck around and get killed or something. I'll be pretty pissed at you. I'm slowly weaning myself off the web(see point 4 above), so posts will be kinda few n' far between. Nose to the grindstone and all that shit. Feel free to e-mail me, of course! Well, I guess that's it for now. Take care!
May a whole lotta lovin' come your way 2003.

Here we are on the cusp of a new year. And here I am, up late for no reason. Old habits die hard.

Monday, December 30, 2002

I spent yesterday evening setting up the brand-new stereo(!!)my girlfriend bought for me for Christmas! And thanx to the magic of Boxing Day, I have 10 new albums to play on it:

  • Neko Case and her Boyfriends - The Virginian

  • Art Blakey Quintet - A Night at Birdland Vol. 2

  • Mr. Lif - I Phantom

  • Edan - Primitive Plus

  • J-Live - All of the Above

  • Tom Waits - Blood Money

  • Tom Waits - Alice

  • The Hummers - Save the Jets

  • The Roots - Phrenology

  • The Mummies - Never Been Caught

I'm the luckiest guy in the world. Now I'm gonna look for naked chicks.

Friday, December 27, 2002

The Roots have the best album liner notes I've ever read. I believe ?uestlove writes 'em, and they're both entertaining and informative. They really capture the vibe of what was going on in the recording process, which is what I feel they should do, either track-by-track(like their new one, Phrenology), or in the acknowledgements(any Peanuts and Corn release, El-P's Fantastic Damage). Public Enemy's It Takes a Nation of Millions To Hold Us Back got me reading liner notes(remember the shout-out list on that one? Huge! Then Fear of a Black Planet? Fugghedaboutit.), so now I'm hooked. Actually, album packaging as a whole is my sort of thing. I discovered my favorite designer Art Chantry through his work with Estrus Records. Gotta give props to El-P for bringing in a guy like Dan Ezra Lang to do stuff for Definitive Jux. His work is mad versatile. If work my ass off, I'll be doing that type of shit someday. Wish me luck y'all.

Thursday, December 26, 2002

Yo! It's Boxing Day here in Canada and the U.K. The day also known as Buytheshityoureallywantday. Always fun! Hope Santa was good to ya!

Wednesday, December 25, 2002

Christmas isn't Christmas unless I watch these two films...A Christmas Carol (aka "Scrooge") and It's a Wonderful Life. They both make me cry, especially Scrooge. Alastair Sim was a master.

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

Christmas shout-outs:

  • My lovely girlfriend, Sarah

  • Scrojo

  • Clay, Kendra, and all the gigposters.com regulars

  • Jim Altieri

  • Tom aka Standard

  • Troy and E. of UrbanTherapy.com

  • Iron Canucks(my boys for life)

  • RRC Graphic Design Program(staff, students past and present)

  • Greg Oakes

  • the Break Bread crew

  • Troy(soso)and Epic of Clotheshorse Records

  • the Winnipeg Punk and Sexcore boards

  • Tablist.ca(what up, Brace?)

  • Ann Marie(stay beautiful!)

  • Electra Summers(you too...stay beautiful!)

  • Les Toil

  • Mister Reusch(yer tha best!)

  • the Unofficial Untalkative Bunny Fan Club

  • my man Floyd Lee

  • Misericordia housekeeping staff

  • Broadway Pharmacy

  • Dave Crosland

  • Jon Hein

  • Cat of Cat's House of Fun

  • Salgood Sam

  • Seripop

  • hey, if I forgot one of youse...kick my ass later. It's Christmas! Put down your ass-kicking foot.

I'm working tomorrow. Not happy.

Monday, December 23, 2002

In case I forget, Merry Christmas to everyone reading this thing. Love ya!
Jump the Shark revisited: Got a note not too long ago from Jon Hein, the author of the Jump the Shark book himself. No foul done, he wrote the Rolling Stone article. And he was flattered by the mention in Non Sequitur. Don't know what I'm talking about? Lookee here, baby.
I'm trying to add permanent links to this thing...we'll see if it works!
(9:11 PM...it does!)
Props to Kathy Bates for doing full frontal nudity in her new film! I can't see enough big women naked, really.

Friday, December 20, 2002

Junko Mizuno does some really cute, and really creepy shit. Check her official English site here, and if you pick up the latest Giant Robot(which you'd be pretty stupid to not do), you can catch an interview with her. Oh yes, the infamous Barry McGee(aka Twist) is also in that issue, and did the cover. I love that dude's work. Him, Giant, and Reas AOK(Todd James)are my favorite writers.

Right now, Radiohead's video for "Push/Pull Spinning Plates" is on the Wedge. In it, an elaborate machine is used to separate a pair of conjoined twins by centrifugal force. Weird, and hard to take your eyes off of.

I may have unintentionally an internet acquaintance dissed someone by not saying hello at the Collective on Wednesday. I had a case of shyness and self-doubt tucked under each arm. If you're reading this at all, I'm really sorry.
Of course, I could be making a big deal out of nothing, which I tend to do. (Note to self: take meds properly, for fuck's sake!)

Sunday is Pink Day on Much. In the ad for it, the voiceover sez, "wanna see some Pink?" The nasty fuck inside of me is like, "HELL YEAH!! BRING IT ON!!" Where's the "tsk, tsk" emoticon?

Gotta work in the mornin'. Whoo! Money's good!!

Thursday, December 19, 2002

I arrived at the Collective at 11 PM, thinking things might be half-over, and half-full. Fuck, was I wrong! Not only did I arrive in enough time to say my hellos and see things start, but I was amazed at the turnout...the Collective was packed! For the last Ill Rap Battle, there were 13 emcees, and they made up half the audience. This time, 25 emcees registered, and a rather vocal(and large)crowd was in attendance. It was well-publicized on local shows...but some would say that the 8 Mile factor was in effect. Y'know...that movie? With that, like, guy? He raps n' shit?
Yeah...that 8 Mile.
Anyway...I was happy with the turnout. My hope is that it's the sign of even better things to come. I was told that a lot of the emcees that showed up were actually part of the battle circuit(including the days of Braemar Bakery, which I totally missed. Stupid me! ), and I did recognize some faces from other battles n' shows.
Anyway, quality-wise, one of the best, if not the best battles I've seen(I think that honor belongs to the Spitboxers competition back in '99 featuring John Smith and Ismalia...blindingly good.).

- There was mad tension in this thing...Pip Skid battled Grubbs(aka Wattson)in a re-match from the previous Ill Rap Battle. It seemed to get a little personal that time, and there was no love lost this time either. I think Grubbs choked a little in his last go-round, and it hurt him. Pip ended up victorious.

- Pip did a really ballsy thing that night. He pointed at one of the judges and said,"I dissed this guy in a song, and I'm still gonna win!" That definitely got the crowd! For the record, the judge was Spitz of Mood Ruff, one of Winnipeg's pioneering rap groups. The song was "Peg Leg City", off Peanuts and Corn's Factory Seconds. Around that time, DJ Hunnicutt and Wax Museum's Rob Tremblay removed themselves from the judge's area, due to conflict of interest, no doubt. Spitz did the right thing and gave the nod to Pip. I believe he was battling Mark S. at the time.

- MC Curtis the Frog entertained the crowd(and himself, no doubt)by showing off his b-boy prowess and blowing smoke rings during his opponent's rebuttals.

- There were a couple of love-ins on the mic as group/crew members faced off. Grubbs and Edwords made a go of it, but it wasn't very memorable. They just didn't go for the jugular. Grubbs managed to edge him out. Gruf the Druid and Pip Skid ended up facing each other, and I think everyone was anticipating a fierce round, but alas, it was not to be. They just couldn't diss each other! It was both sweet and disheartening at the same time. I feel the fact that Gruf didn't finish his 30 second rebuttal hurt him, and Pip went onward.

- Gotta give props to the lanky one, DJ Haruki for getting in there all the time with his way-out-there nursery rhyme style and huge-ass pants. Comic relief, and good effort.

- Bobby Lee was mad fun to watch. You could just tell he was enjoying himself up there. Versus Mindsharp, he was the picture of ease. That I do believe got Mindsharp a little frustrated, and he sorta caved on his last turn. He definitely held hs own though.

- The final between Bobby Lee and Pip Skid was intense, not only between them, but Pip and section of the crowd representing the Maples(the suburbs). The final was topic-based, and Mr. Ness got a topic from an emcee that was in the battle earlier(I believe his name was Ruckus)that also was down with that Maples bunch. The topic? "Fashion display".
What the fuck is that?
"Fashion", I could understand, but really, what the fuck is a "fashion display"?
Whatever...Pip eliminated Maples representative Mark S. earlier, so that part of the crowd was out for blood. The moment Pip apparently drifted off-topic, the crowd chanted "choke"(which was apparently in the movie...I wouldn't know. Haven't seen it. I wanted to see Brittany Murphy naked, and I hear that all that's really seen is Mr. Mathers' ass. Uh, no thanx, yo.). Pip did manage to get some lines in though, desite all that. Bobby Lee dropped some ill punchlines about Pippi Longstocking, rednecks, and slaying Pip's cattle(Pip's from Brandon...I doubt he ever had cattle. It was still funny, though). When the smoke cleared, Bobby Lee got the win.

I'm telling you. I can't wait for the next battle, man. Not only to see these cats go at it again, but there were some truly vicious emcees missing from this installment. John Smith, the previous IRB winner was sick. Ismalia of FrekSho was MIA, and so was Eclipse of Shadez. Those three would've killed the wack competition right away. I really hope they're in the next one.

Good times, no doubt.

Benoit vs. Angle on SmackDown. See ya later.
Just came back from a wicked MC battle. I'll write more later, I'm tired.

Wednesday, December 18, 2002

"Jumping the shark" was mentioned in today's Non-Sequitur, so I guess it's some sort of public domain type thing. I'll get off my high horse now.
Ladies n' gentlemen...Adam Connelly. Thanks for the link, Clay. Ya weirdo. :)

Monday, December 16, 2002

I mentioned "jumping the shark" in my last entry. It seems to me that Rolling Stone recently used that concept without giving proper credit to Jon Hein, creator of Jump the Shark. While this is usually applied to TV shows(the point where your favorite programs get fucked up), they used it for pop culture phenomena, like Kid Rock(they seemed pretty dead-on right there).and WWE. Apparently, Rolling Stone and JtS were affiliated a while back, but parted ways. Amicably? Don't know. Smells fishy to me.

On an entirely different note: I'm not too sure what's going on in this, but I'm pretty certain of one thing...Kikkoman is not to be fucked with.

Saturday, December 14, 2002

I'm missing Chicago right now. I was there for under a week in April, and it felt like home. Beautiful fuckin' city.

Is there a loser scale out there? I wanna see where I fit in. Here are my "attributes":
- 27 going on 55
- Livin' with Moms...still.
- Lazy as fuck.
- King of self-deprication(read earlier entries in this weblog for proof)
- Whiner(again, read the rest of this weblog...although this entry proves it)
- 2000-plus Ideas vs. zero ambition(the eternal struggle)
The one thing that keeps me from setting up permanent residence in Loserdom, is the fact that I have a fine-ass girlfriend.
Almost five years with the same good-lovin' lady. Must be doing something right. Haven't "jumped the shark" yet.
Time will tell.

I'm gonna clean my room. I'll probably be more pleasant in the morning. Tomorrow is another day, after all.
And I'm gonna take my medication properly.

Thursday, December 12, 2002

Ladies and gentlemen, Art Frahm.
Amanda Walsh is such a cutie. And for some reason, I'm having a hard time picturing her naked. I really don't know why.
I'm going to Perkins.
There ain't enough big women on TV, f'real. That's why ABC's **** **** ******* is so dope. I started watching it because I think **** *** is tasty. Imagine my surprise to find out that this show not one, but two, really fly chunky girls! Sherri Shepherd is damn fine. Seeing those two on the screen is sweet beyond belief.
Oh yeah, the show's pretty funny too.
I'm hungry.
On Tuesday, I watched an episode of TLC's A Wedding Story, and liked it. So there. Nyahh.

Wednesday, December 11, 2002

When someone hates a magazine, why do they refer to it as a "rag"? Back in the day, yeah, that would be pretty insulting. Now, it's passe, as far as I'm concerned(I can't find the accented "e"!). Why don't folks say shit like, "your magazine is more suitable as a rectal swab"? If I were an editor, I'd weep upon hearing that.

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

One of the dopest rhymes EVER:
"Life's not a bitch/Life is a beautiful woman/You only call her a bitch/'Cuz she wouldn't let you get that pussy/Maybe she didn't feel y'all shared any similar interests/Or maybe you're just an asshole/That couldn't sweet talk a princess..." - Aesop Rock, "Daylight"

Why I still don't have his Labor Days album is beyond me. Maybe I'll get it for Christmas, 'cuz it was on my list. Or maybe I'll get it on Boxing Day(aka Buytheshityoureallywant Day). Time will tell.

Monday, December 09, 2002

I'm afraid of living in a world where young men do not know what real breasts look like. I feel for our male youth. That's it...if I'm gonna have to distribute random copies of Voluptuous and Perfect 10 in high schools throughout North America to sway their eyes towards natural beauty, then by golly, that's what I'ma do! The boys gotta know!!

Shit, did I just type that? Ummm...yup.

BTW, Perfect 10 has all-natural models and Voluptuous has models of all sizes(from petite to "plumper"...I never thought I'd get sick of that word, but I think it's happening)with gargantuan breastseses. Hey, I know what I recommend.

Speaking of recommending things, see Doug Pray's Scratch. It's an outstanding film, and a great from a filmmaker that is an outsider to hip-hop culture. The only thing missing from the film was an innterview with Kool Herc, the man at the centre of hip-hop's genesis(I believe he tried, but things didn't work out). I think most folks that don't believe that a turntable is an instrument will be turned into believers. And even if they don't get converted, they'll be a little wiser about hip-hop culture as a whole. F'real. Need info? Lookee here. His first film, Hype!, is also quite good.

Saturday, December 07, 2002

I'm off to a bingo bowling Christmas party for my girlfriend and her co-workers. It looks like I'll be seeing my Mom's former supervisor there. I'm already not in a good mood. I'm gonna have to put on my "I'm a good boyfriend" game face on. At least it's MY game: 5-pin. Canada's game.
I was gonna be all bitchy in this installment, but I decided against it. It's never pretty. I'm glad I was scheduled to work today. The only thing about that was I had to work. It continually boggles my mind that my Mom has done this for 32 years. I've been at this since June and dislike it muchly. But the money is good. When you think about it, the difference between Mom and myself is that she actually likes this. Get in where you fit in, y'all. If you wanna be an accountant, ditchdigger, porn star -whatever- go for it.

I'm one to talk. I can barely psych myself out of a chair.

Well, it's official. I'm a pussy.
I was just remembering a scene from Titanic, the film my girlfriend and I saw on our 2nd date, and a film I'm pretty certain I'll never see again. Y'all remeber that scene when Rose and Jack are(dare I say)making love in a car, and Rose says, "put your hands on me, Jack"? While I was working today, I was like, Wow, that's like sexy and romantic at the same time.
If black men could blush.
I've given myself bonus pussy points for remembering that Oprah liked that scene a lot.

I'm off to the opposite corner of the room to weep bitterly.

Friday, December 06, 2002

Fuck! That four-way elimination match with Benoit, Guerrero, Edge, and Angle was amazing!! When you know the end result of match and you're still enthralled...THAT'S GOOD WRESTLING. SmackDown isn't perfect, but it's got the best(easily accessible)wrestling on TV. Now...if they could only do something about the once-great RAW. Those writers suck donkey coil.
Just had me a peanut butter and egg nog milkshake - no ice cream. Fanfuckintastic.
*sigh*...gonna have to disconnect the web at home. It's time. When that time is...not sure.
When you hear from me on this thing, it'll be from school, my girlfriend's house, or(*shudder*)the library.
For now, everything is copacetic!

At the Collective: 11th - Milch and Allegra Night featuring YBIMBP*(the folks that released the aformentioned EP...which I have yet to get), Equanim, and guests. 18th - Ill Rap Battle 3! I guarantee...sucka MCs will get smacked silly!! Verbally, of course.

At the Albert: on the 20th, the Hummers release their new album.

At the Pyramid: the following night, The Peanuts and Corn Revue!! Apparently the whole Break Bread crew will be in the house(mcenroe is the only crew member living outside of Winnipeg), and Mr. Pinkgitch** aka John Smith will be releasing his new 7" entitled, High Arctics. It's all about Churchill, and it's all dope. Give'r a listen at
. Sweetness. These guys can do no wrong.

Hey! One of the Untalkative Bunny seasonal episodes will make it's debut today at 5 PM(central) on Teletoon. YAY!

The incredibly talented Dan Grzeca of Chicago informed me that he too, shall be joining the Blog race! This is good news. And this guy is fuckin' good too, man. When I get the URL, I'll post it. In the meantime,
check this shit out
. I wish I had this dude's talent.

Ann Marie of prettyfat.com is gonna send me off with truly sweet dreams tonight. She added an update to her Sexy Gallery(part 2 of the White photo shoot), and it is tasty. Good Lord. I'm hurtin' over here! I wish there were more big girls like her in the world...that'd be my Utopia. Go
. Feast your eyes!

I taped SmackDown! tonight, and I'm watching it right now. I may have ruined it by reading
Scott Keith's
review first, but he's a knowledgeable guy, so what the fuck? Some cat at the Break Bread board was worried about battling becoming commercial since 8 Mile, and he's got good reason. John Cena and Rikishi were just "battling". One of the wackest things I've ever seen. There are a lot of shitty things going on in the WWE.
Chris Benoit gave the best interview of his career, and I've been following most of that amazing history. I already know the results of the 4-way match, but I'm gonna watch it anyway. Later, y'all.

*YBIMBP = Your Brother in My Backpack
**Mr. Pinkgitch = That's Canuckspeak for ya. "Gitch" means underwear. In the West, it's gitch...out East, "gotch". Ask around.

Thursday, December 05, 2002

There's never enough bacon.
And there's no such thing as "too much bacon".

Wednesday, December 04, 2002

I'm a huge fan of
Untalkative Bunny
. It's painfully cute. The second season started recently, and those episodes can be seen on Mondays and Fridays on Teletoon here in Canada(5 PM Central). I freakin' love it to death!
I'm hoping that now, my archiving problem has been solved.

Tuesday, December 03, 2002

Just a little addendum to the "fake tit" thing:

I've been watching breast augmentation surgery on Life Network. That's some ill shit. Really.
Reconstructive surgery I totally understand. You're regaining something you lost due to cancer or an accident. A part of yourself.
But new tits in the name of career advancement? Fitting into a dress better? To get additional glances from men and/or women?

Pffft. Whatever. It's your life, your body. What I feel about the matter shouldn't mean shit to you. I'm just some dude with an ass fetish.

Another thing: I'm really glad Thora Birch was in American Beauty. She brought the right amount of brooding to her character. But the fact that her character was saving money for a boob job got clouded as soon as we saw her topless. She REALLY didn't need 'em. Bad casting? Probably not. It's been a while since I saw that film...was she gonna get 'em specifically to piss off her parents? I can't remember.
Maybe her and Mena Suvari should've switched roles.

If they did, Thora woulda got all those magazine covers back in '99 that Mena did. Leaving me a happy man.

In addition, seeing Ms. Birch topless made me feel kinda funny, because I've watched her grow up on both big and small screens.

Doesn't make her any less tasty, though.

The soundtrack for this post was provided by lrock of the mighty TOOSICKZ crew. It's a mixtape, man...apparently you can find this in town(Peg City, that is)with the "Toosickz Magazine". Those of us missing out(like I probably will) can download each side(or stream 'em)right
. I'd better get my ass over to
Wax Museum
in the morning.

Monday, December 02, 2002

I'd like to take this opportunity to give a little shout out to Troy and E. of
. Troy has posted comments here a few times, hangs out at gigposters(there's a link at the left...as if you didn't know), and does the art thing himself. I already know he does more than my lazy ass, 'cuz he informed me that he "gets his draw on quite a bit". :) Good lookin', man.

I gonna wash the dishes and enjoy that fine -21 weather. Later, y'all.


Tristan Taormino
I've mentioned this fine-ass lady before. Lately, she's been a regular on the Ricki Lake show, handing down her sex wisdom. Not only has she written
The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women
, but she produced a two volume video set for it as well!
And damn if she isn't hot! I don't think I've ever see a woman in glasses look so fine. She's like, a really hot librarian!

A really hot librarian that's into fisting and genital torture. *ahem*
See her tasty self(and a whole lot more)here.

Beth Ditto of the Gossip
She's the cutie in the middle. She's flanked by her bandmates Nathan(guitar) and Kathy(drums))
I wish there were more big girls in the world like Beth Ditto. She doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks. That girl gets up on stage and fuckin' moves. I've seen footage. I could've seen the Gossip when they stopped in my town, but I was broke. I was hopping to do a poster for their show, so I could get in for free(pitiful, eh?), but Dave at the Pyramid already had somebody lined up. Turns out the motherfucker that did it ripped off a Frank Kozik design. I was so mad when I found out later.
But I digress...she's fine. And she's loud. She sez what she wants to. You gotta admire that.
And as a band, the Gossip has a whole mess of soul. Check their
KRS Factsheet
for more details and MP3s. You'll be glad you did.

Sunday, December 01, 2002

Fat chicks rule.
Just got back(well, 30 minutes ago)from "Ain't No Half-Steppin'!" at the Pyramid where the infamous Pip Skid(aka Canada's Most Dangerous MC), "Mr. Showmanship" DJ-Co-op, and DJ Hunnicutt(the suavest motherfucker in a mesh hat) brought the house down with the illest joints until almost 3 a.m. I haven't danced that much in years! And with the good shit they were playing, it was as if they didn't want me to go home! I only wish my baby was there with me...there were some fine-ass ladies there, no joke. They weren't as fine as my missus, but DAMN! It's pretty much guaranteed that if I was single again, I still wouldn't have done anything.

Because I'm a pussy.

Thursday, November 28, 2002

For the first time in a while, SmackDown! sucked.
Happy Turkey Day to any Yanks that might be checking this. Despite the fact that Native folks in America have no reason to celebrate.

Sorry to seem sour, but you can't dispute the facts, man. Don't get mad y'all...I still have love for Americans!

Right now, I'm watching Los Guerreros vs. Benoit/Angle. 'Scuse me.
Did I mention that I think fake breasts are ghastly? Wasn't sure. The female body is already God's finest work of art.
You can't fuck with perfection, really. People still try though. Stupid.

Wednesday, November 27, 2002

Hot damn!! Just got a whole lot of posters from Jim Altieri, a poster dude from Pennsylvania. I didn't always like his work, but as time went on, I really began to see the wicked humor in his stuff. His use of type and his illustrations have gotten even better lately. He just did an awesome Life magazine cover spoof for a Clutch poster using a recent picture of Michael Jackson, doctored to look like Charles Manson. Brilliant! See his stuff
I tell you, as soon as I'm able to get my fucking webspace working, I'll post images here.
Kurt Halsey Frederiksen does some really nice stuff. I wish I had his sensitivity...I guess I'd figure that out if I drew more. Yeah, I'm sick of me complaining too. I'm an addict(to the web), and need therapy. Or a serious thrashing. I'm sure a thrashing would be cheaper. I'd just have to piss off someone at the Albert(the Royal Albert Arms...legendary live venue. Folks that actually drink would be able to tell you about their draft nights). 100% free ass-kicking! Anyway, I digress...check Kurt's site
. Very charming work.

Me and music. I love it and it's many "genres". I'm opinionated about it. Some would say I'm a "music snob". In fact, I'd say it myself! Given a chance, I'd make a "music snob" shirt. Having worked at a record store made me that way. I'm changing though...I'm more tolerant. People are different, different types of music move different people differently. What I just typed was probably an editor's nightmare. Anyway, here's where I stand on a few things:

Wankery Mistaken for Soul
American Idol was a prime example of this. excessive vocal pyrotechnics don't make up for true emotion in singing. That's just showboating, and it sucks ass. The blame lies squarely on the shoulders of Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston. Both fine singers, yes, but where's the soul for fuck's sake? Okay, Whitney came up through church, so she knows about fire n' brimstone, but she ain't Aretha. Mariah has a wide octave range, true, but does she make you feel anything? Not me. The late Minnie Ripperton does, however. That woman oozed love and sex, man. Mariah is vocal paper tiger compared to her.

Garage Rock = Rock n' Roll
What many people call "garage rock" is really what we all know and love as "rock n' roll", but it's cliched to say you like "rock n' roll". That's fucked, really. And another thing that's fucked is what passes for rock n' roll today...or "rock". ROCK? What the fuck happened to the roll, bitch? Rock n' roll was a euphemism for sex, and I'll tell you right now...Nickelback doesn't make me wanna fuck. This was supposed to be the year that garage rock "broke" with the White Stripes, the Hives, the Vines and the ubiquitous Strokes leading the way. Yeah tell that to Estrus Records, the mecca of garage. Are they reaping the rewards? Nope. Same with Dionysus, In the Red, Sympathy For the Record Industry, Norton and other labels that do this kind of shit. Another thing that gets me are the folks that say they hate all these "the" bands. What? That's SOOO fuckin' stupid. Like it's trendy to attach "the" to your name. Get the fuck outta here! Why don't we drop it from everything, then. Good idea, eh?

"Hey, Phil...been to that new bookstore, I see."
"Yup, got me some awesome titles, too."
"Yeah...check it out: "Hobbit", uh, "Scarlet Letter", and "Bible". And for kicks, an issue of "New Yorker".

Man...fuck you!

"There ain't no more good music out there..."
Don't make me laugh. There's tons! You just aren't looking hard enough, lazy slut. Read reviews in music mags...in fact, read the whole fuckin' thing! Search the web...it's pretty much endless for info. There's mad amounts of info out there...for us Canucks, one damn good place to turn is
, a free magazine. Nationwide distribution and extensive coverage of pretty much all genres. You have no excuses, man.

Making a mix tape(in the hip-hop sense, and otherwise) or cd, is cool. Burning a whole album, not so cool...unless yer planning to buy the real thing sometime later, so you can balance your musical karma. Right now, you're just strapped for cash...I understand. Burning and album and selling it, with a wack laser print reproduction of the artwork? Evil.

Ah...I feel better. Keep in mind these are just my opinions. They don't have to mean anything to you.

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

I love
Clone High
. Fuckin' hilarious. Wicked writing, awesome sight gags, and great character design(I especially dig Joan of Arc's look[voiced by the lovely Nicole Sullivan]). It's a Canada/U.S. co-production with MTV all up in it.

It's fuckin' A.

Monday, November 25, 2002

Felt like posting this long-ass "review" for a show I was at a number of months ago. I was feeling kinda nostalgic. And now, after checking my use of slang, I'm feeling kinda queasy. The orignal and all the responses can be found at the Break Bread message board, part of the
Peanuts and Corn Records

Hey y'all. I was surprised to see nothin' about this before I left to see it, but as they say..."it's all good". Anyway, if y'all missed the tour, Winnipeg was the last stop and it was one fuckin' awesome show!
Startin' things off were our Break Bread peoples: Gruf, Mister Pinkgitch, and the always busy DJ Hunnicutt. Knowing Break Bread was on the bill, a lot of people were expecting mcenroe and Pip to be there. They weren't, unfortunately, but the brothers on stage held it down regardless(in fact, they dropped an improptu ditty presumably called,"Where's Pip Skid and mcenroe?"). Gruf and Joey JoJo each dropped album tracks, including "Tooth and Nail", "The Plants", and "These @#$^%in' Gas Prices are Killing Me!" with the mighty Gumshoe Strut jumpin' on stage. Highlight of the night was Gruf doing his infamous "Weight of the World" routine, with Hunnicutt and John doing doo wop vocals. Both fun AND hilarious!

Ninja Tune's Bonobo was next dropping some downtempo/breakbeat-type shit. He defintely impressed me, and others judging by the asses shaking and whatnot. As usual, it takes Winnipeg time to heat up the dance floor. Many stood gawking. The beats he was dropping eventually won 'em over. Gonna have to pick up that album.

The illustrious Buck 65 then took the stage with a wave and a little scratch routine. As is the case with this dude, self-taught dance moves(my fave: The Dandruff Brush-Off), theatrical body gestures, and clever stage banter were on tap tonight. The most rabid of fans rhymed along with him on the familiar stuff(Centaur--with a sped-up beat!)and dropped some new jewels on us, including a joint he wrote that afternoon! I think he lost a few folks with the story he told about his old b-boy buddy that became a gangster, but it was entertaining nonetheless. He finished with his set with the ever-popular "Pants on Fire", which I fuckin' love. That bass makes me wanna cry.

I'll just say it right now...Anti-Pop Consortium RIPPED it. Minds were blown tonight, including mine. These dudes commanded the stage the moment they walked on it. APC makes atypical music, so naturally they had an atypical stage set-up. High Priest had a laptop and a small, multi-knobbed mixing console. Beans played one of those small, new wave-ish organs with the lever that distorts sound like a theremin(now that's something I'd like to see on a hip-hop album!). Sayyid represented wih a drum machine, playing it with his index fingers...with perfect timing, I might add. Together they opened the set with an other-worldly instrumental(one of many they played between songs), stunning the packed crowd. Once they started rhyming, the crowd was in their hands. All of them rocked it, without a doubt in my mind. It seems though that Beans was a real crowd fave...whenever he interjected with his mad bouncy flow, the crowd fuckin' ate it up! And say what you will about their odd instrumentation and production methods, their beats definitely had the muthafuckin' "nod factor" we all look for. Y'know...a lot of cats say it, so much so that it's a cliche, but APC is TRULY "on some other shit", dammit! I'm sayin', if Devo did hip-hop music, this would be it. If they're playin' in your town...RUN, DON'T WALK to the venue. These brothers'll knock yer fuckin' head off your shoulders...they're that good.

Sunday, November 24, 2002

I'm up way too late. If they call me in the morning, I'm fucked.
Ocean Spray® Cranberry Cocktail...I love it.
I'm gonna make one of my dreaded album "want" lists. Making lists is fun.

Friday, November 22, 2002

Thursday, November 21, 2002

Well, the plan tonight is to watch
Russ Meyer's Mudhoney
and actually use some of the porn I've got as drawing reference. We'll see what develops. Peace.
I just told my Gigposters peoples about the dumbest thing I ever did. You can read it

Tuesday, November 19, 2002

Monday, November 18, 2002

Three days off, so far. That hasn't happened in a long time. I'm not complaining, though. The thing is, I like money like everyone else. I'm not crazy about working for it, that's the thing. Well, as far as this line of work goes, really(Housekeeping Services Attendant...a dirt samurai). If they call, I'll go, plain n' simple. Mom sorta warned me that the full-time and part-time folks would stop playing sick soon since Christmas is coming. Oh well. Whatever.

Some thoughts and/or statements:
- Carlos and Murphy's makes wicked Nachos con Pollo.
- See Miyazaki's Spirited Away. You can thank me later.
- Ricki Lake has been lookin' hotter to me lately. Laugh if you must, but motherhood's been good to her. I've been hearing that she may start doin' movies again.
- Having Tristan Taormino as a regular guest on her show this season has upped Ricki's hotness points in my book. Rrowr.
- Grabbed some cheesecake from Baked Expectations(Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip). Gonna wash it down with Ocean Spray Cran-Grape®. What else? Yeah, water's good too.
- Got me a FreeServers account, so maybe I'll post pictures n' whatnot here. We'll see.

Friday, November 15, 2002

If yer checkin' this out, don't be afraid to leave comments. Let me know yer out there! Please?
I believe I have neglected to mention that The Bird Machine does incredible work. Jay Ryan makes me wonder why I bother to pick up a pencil.

I must get away from this computer. Porn and living vicariously through other artists has sapped me of my creative muscle(yeah, I know...excuses, excuses. What do you expect from a pathetic soul like myself? It ain't all laughs, man. Intentional ones, anyway.)

Don't worry, I'm not suicidal. That's a bad career move.
Quote in my head lately: "Industry rule numer four thousand and eighty/record company people are shady/so kids watch your back/'cuz I think they smoke crack/I don't doubt it, look at how they act..." - "Check the Rhime" - A Tribe Called Quest, 1991
Gonna drink more cranberry juice.

Thursday, November 14, 2002

I survived work. Slept a lot. Talked to old friend in Virden. Didn't go to the Tegan & Sara show. Listened to Born in the Break instead. I think I made the right decision. Got me a glass of cranberry juice. It's good for the urinary tract, dontchaknow? Check Tastes Like Chicken for awesome comix, interviews, and illustrations by my man Dave Crosland. I'm SOOO envious of this dude. In a good way, mind you. Dude's got talent out tha ass. Oh yeah, his work is also featured in this month's Spin(check the last page...it's a Strokes car story).

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

The web addict that I am has been neglecting my poor, aged drawing desk. I had mad ideas when I came home...I still do. But the light sucks me in all the time. The fuckin' thing is like two feet away from me! Grrrr.

I'll be cleaning the urgent care area of the health care facility I work at. Not looking forward to it. I should be in bed.

Looks like I'm seeing Tegan & Sara for free tomorrow at the Pyramid. I'll stay as long as I'm entertained. I kinda dig 'em, but I have none of their stuff. I got a free pass from a cancer fundraiser I was at on Sunday. Judging from what I last saw on an installment of Much News, I should be in for some cute stage banter. These girls are kinda cute, actually. Twins, dontchaknow? And they've got the best haircuts of their young careers. A friend of mine refered to them as "those lesbian sisters" on his old radio show a couple of years ago. *ahem*

A thought...why are people so eager to see other folks get married? Maybe it'll be a while before they get things together financially...it'll happen eventually, forfuckssake!
Uh...I'm not talking about me.

Okay, you got me.
There's no meat in the house. And I'm freakin' on the inside. KRS-One was right..."it's the number one drug on the street!"
Random Thoughts:

Wrestling - I'm slowly falling out of love with it, and I don't like it. It's the WWE's fault. They've destroyed their major competion(the NWA territorial system*, the AWA, and WCW), leaving them as the only(big) game in town. Wrestling isn't hot right now, so on their flagship show(Raw), they've adopted a shitty shock value approach to their writing, alienating both the hardcore fans and the fairweather ones. The upside is that they save their Thursday night show(Smackdown!) for SOLID wrestling. The finest wrestlers on their entire roster are on that program. Despite that, Monday leaves a pretty nasty taste in my mouth. If I had more money, I'd be investing in tapes, for sure. There's a ton of good wrestling available that way, but fianancially, I have other things to consider.

*The NWA(National Wrestling Alliance) is still around, but it's a shadow of what it used to be. Back in the day, the NWA was POWERFUL.

Porn - I'm mad picky. I have a major hate-on for fake tits, so finding porn without 'em is tougher than leather(R.I.P. Jam Master Jay). I came home pornless tonight.

Blogger™ - This thing is fun! Using this, I'm slowly learning HTML. Yup, I'm happy. Al'z little self-indulgent corner of the web. Can you feel the love tonight?

Monday, November 11, 2002

This is what happens when I'm not called in for work. I sit on my arse instead of being productive. I'm gonna go out and live. Later, y'all.
The snow is finally here. I'm probably the only one in Winnipeg that actually looks forward to winter. Well, except the folks that make mad cash removing it. Winnipeg looks beautiful during the winter. I love it.

Uh...that is all.
Okay...just added a comment-type thingee. Gonna see if it works.

Sunday, November 10, 2002

I don't want to go to work. I'm a Dirt Samurai.
Did I mention that I have the most awesomest girlfriend in like, the whole fuckin' world?
Just wanted to make that clear.
I LOVE womankind. I love the way they walk, talk, masticate...everything. I'm king of the girlwatchers, man! Always on the lookout for a big girl with a big ass. Did I mention I love big women. Probably not. Women of all stripes drive me crazy, but a big girl will make me do backflips, bitch! As long as there are women in the world with plump behinds and flaring hips, and God doesn't eliminate me, the world shall have me around to deal with for a long time to come.

Yeah. I love women.

But no one, and motherfucker, I MEAN NO ONE, holds a candle to my lady.

Got it?

Just wanted to make that clear.

I don't know how long I'm gonna be doing this weblog thing. I'm sorta testing the waters at the moment. I figure once I get my shit together with this graphic design/illustration thing, I'll probably use this for quick updates on projects and stuff. Maybe I'll start a separate one for that purpose n' keep this one. We'll see.

I'm still hungry.
Spent time with my ladyfriend for the first time in a week...I love her SO much. But she had to go her way, and I had to go mine.
So it's back to the porn. Not for jack-off material...this time. I have a vivid imagination, so she'll be with me in spirit if I so choose to, uh, "set a place for one".
No, I was just adding to my now voluminous collection of jpegs. I've long planned to use these for reference material, but I'm sure I've mentioned somewhere that I don't draw enough and that I'm a lazy fuck. I did, didn't I? Let's see...


Oh yeah! Check the bottom left of your screen. The "lazy fuck" is embellishment, however true.
Geez...I'm disgusting myself. And I'm hungry, yo. Later.

Saturday, November 09, 2002

Oh yeah, props to my man Louie Orbeta for teaching me a tiny bit of HTML. Thanx to him, I can add links to my online dementia. Peace.
To clarify: I'm not a drug abuser. The pills I made reference to in my second post are anti-depressants. My lack of them
are probably the reason behind my more-lame-than-usual disposition. It's guaranteed that if I was a drug abuser, it'd be a short career.
I'm sure I'd piss someone off early enough in my pill-poppin' days to end up dead. Not of an overdose, but due to a severe beating.
"He was like, whining...all the time. A guy can only take so much. So I fucked him up but good."
For the record, I don't drink either. No, I'm not a pussy. I've got no need for it.

Fuck this. I'm goin' to the Hun.
It worked! Cool...so like, click on it n' shit. Make money, fool! I did!

Well...no. I haven't. YET. But YOU can change that. Just by going here.
This is the last time I'll get commercial on you.
Okay...another test:
Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free

Friday, November 08, 2002

Still not in bed. Probably gonna visit The Hun before that happens. Oh yeah...I already did! Silly me.
Well, I'm goin' back. I know I missed stuff. http://www.thehun.com

I'm one sad sonofabitch.
Hey y'all...this is where I'm gonna, like, put my thoughts n' stuff. However profound, silly, or absolutely dull.
Lemme start it off with a bang...uh...I had something written down...um...I'll be right back.

Okay...found it! Sorry 'bout leaving you hanging like that. I wrote this down in my easy-to-carry sketchbook.
Here goes:

Friday Nov. 8 12:40 AM
I came to the village for porn. Instead I got cold hands and a sub.
Right now, my handwriting sucks and my right foot is asleep. I'm out of pills.
I suck.

Geez...that was worth waiting for, eh? And probably a little too sad and confessional.

I should go to bed.
This here is a test.