- I haven't written one of these in nearly three years.
- I'm tired as fuck. Dissatisfaction with my professional life doesn't properly cover what I'm going through.
- Summer's fading fast. As I get older, I find I miss it a little more. This is coming from a winter guy. Not sure what all of that means.
- Now's the best possible time to be a wrestling fan. Never in our lifetime has so much been available to everyone. Everywhere you turn, there's a streaming service. And if you're not satisfied with that, YouTube fills in pretty much every gap in your wrestling interests.
And that's the problem: there's too much.
I guess that's a good problem to have.
New Japan Pro Wrestling is near the end of their annual G1 Climax tournament. There are 19 events this year. I only made through to night four. Each event has a packed undercard with shit that might affect future matchups. These things are 2-5 hours long! I don't have the time or the fucking attention span. I just wanna watch YouTube. Easily digestible YouTube moments.
- An additionally depressing thing about pro wrestling: there's a divide between the folks that prefer the days of kayfabe ("kayfabe" being the illusion that everything in wrestling is real and not a pre-determined athletic contest) – even as goofy as things could get back then – and those that laud the antics of Kenny Omega*, Chuck Taylor, and the Internet famous Joey Ryan. Loyalties are gettin' divided. It saddens me a lil' bit. I love pro wrestling, but what Joey does is the type of shit that makes me embarrassed to be a fan. It kinda makes me wanna just...quit.
- I don't do drugs, but if you see me with a bag of Peanut Butter M&Ms, things ain't goin' well.
- I feel a little better having written this out. I'm gonna like, do something else. Maybe go to bed early (Yeah, right, asshole.).
Thursday, August 10, 2017
Sunday, January 01, 2017
New year, new me, same ol' resolutions. Looking back on last year's list, I really did succeed in eating more poutine. I have to set different goals.
- Financial Management. Me and money. Our relationship could always be better. I haven't budgeted in AGES, and I know it'll help.
- Health. No more eating every damn thing I see. Back to DDPYoga. Yeah, I know I said that last year.
- Creativity. I can say that I love drawing now, but it really comes through when I'm actually drawing. And I'm okay with not drawing every day, and I no longer beat myself up for not putting pencil to paper for long periods of time. (Related note: these tweets.) Also, I need to get back into practicing the art of sign painting. I don't want to lose whatever skill I gained under Rick Wagner's tutelage. I didn't finish Inktober, and I got down on myself, but I know I'm not the only one.
- Tidiness. I feel like I've been doing nothing but cleaning for most of the year. That said, my wife and I did a cleaning blitz just before my brother and his wife came over, and we were both taken by the results. Now, I have to tackle my usual nemesis: the workspace. Get it clean and maintain it.
- Music. I've listened to Spotify a lot more and realized that I could come up with at least a top six of albums. Not bad. As always, I need to listen to more. More physical copies of albums, too.
- Japanese. A friend of mine is learning the language and he's working hard at it. I find that inspiring. Also inspiring, this article. It's never too late to learn, and with the amount of New Japan and Crunchyroll anime I've been watching, it'd be great to get a grasp of the language. I'm dying to visit there again, too.
Friday, January 01, 2016
- More Music. All I do is listen to podcasts and Spotify (occasionally). Gotta BUY more music. More physical media. CDs. Vinyl. Edison cylinders. Started 2016 by listening to John Coltrane and Guilty Simpson, so things are goin’ well already. Gotta go out to more shows, too.
- Better Health. Been eating horribly. My lifestyle is sedentary. Time to get back on that DDPYoga. With that said…
- More Poutine. …I could stand to eat more poutine. It can be my “cheat” meal. The poutine at Le Garage RULES.
- More Drawing. As always. It’s becoming more of a habit. 2016 is where it’ll take hold.
- Better Financial Health. Make more, save more. And by “more,” I mean “start.”
- Tidiness. The workspace, the living room, the kitchen…the whole fucking house, really. Dishes. Laundry. Yeah.
- More Comics. Comics America is closing. Time to go to Comic Factory instead. Time to buy more comic PDFs from Gumroad. More mini comics. More webcomics. More, more, more.
- Better Time Management. Pretty much nipped lateness in the bud, now it’s time to take care of the moments I have to myself and use them to the max.
No lazing’ about – make the most of it!
- Baking. My wife and I have a Pinterest board of peanut butter recipes.
I need to make some of these.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
The shit that's goin' down in Baltimore, man.
I wish I was a little more outspoken about things but in the end, I just don't want to argue with people. I don't have the time or energy. Folks that are fucking shit up out of anger in that city?*
I ain't mad at 'em. Would I do it myself? Nope. But I understand the frustration. We're looking at 400+-year slow-motion genocide against bIack people in the U.S., like it or not. If I mention this on Facebook, I just know that I'll get a lot of static from people I call friends that are unable to walk a mile in black folks' shoes. I guess that makes me a coward or something. So be it.
I like to think that I can "stay woke" while surrounding myself with beauty for the sake of my peace of mind. If you need me, I'll be at Pinterest or something.
*As usual, there are multiple angles involved in what's going on. CNN/Fox/CBS/NBC/ABC will sing you a one-note song, but there are people right there in the middle of things taking to Twitter and Tumblr to give you the uncut dope. Stories about how people are truly being affected, not some unified blanket statement. Stories that are positive about the situation that won't be covered by the aforementioned group, because the shit ain't sexy, and America needs its boogeymen/women.
Friday, March 20, 2015
"Internet Code of Conduct" is a bit of a misnomer. What I've actually drawn up for myself is a plan to streamline my online activities, particularly where social media is concerned.
Why? Because I'm tired, that's why.
On Tumblr, I'm bombarded day after day with posts related to racism, people denying racism exists, and other incidents of injustice and assholery. (Including homophobia, transphobia, fat hate, etc.) Also on Tumblr, I'm overwhelmed by illustration eye candy on the daily by people that actually use their time wisely and create stuff. My brain, eyes, and heart need a fucking break from both of these things because I'm going nowhere fast. With the former, I wonder what's the point of doing anything when the world is clearly so shitty and out to get me. As far as the latter is concerned, I can't get any better at creating things by just observing. It helps, but you need to put what you've learned into action by doing.
So, tonight I sat down and wrote out a plan to streamline my online activities; a personal set of rules. The plan is to keep it up for at least a month and see if it's effective. I'll adjust things where I need to. Basically, I'm attempting to take control of my habits and be a more productive me.
This is long overdue.
Thursday, March 19, 2015
My St. Patrick's Day tweet.
Wrestling with emotions, man. If you look up the definitions of jealousy and envy, I've got both going on. I need to go to Japan again. SXSW has long been a dream of mine to attend, especially for Flatstock.
All I know is, it's going to take work. Work to raise the money, or doing work that'll take me there on someone else's dime.
I can do it. I just have to tell myself that, and keep grindin'.
Sunday, January 11, 2015
It was a day like any other, except it was my birthday, and I reached the beginning of my fourth decade on this glorious ball of dirt. I dreaded this birthday like I dreaded my 25th, my 30th, my 35th, and my 39th. However, there was a certain amount of resignation from the whole deal.
I've been shown over the past year how fleeting life can be, so I've kinda thrown my hands up. No, I'm not giving up on life, I've just given up on buggin' out over the inevitable.
Does that mean I'm happier about the passage of time? Getthefuckouttahere. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be alive, more so than I have been in the past three years. But, if you think I greeted this day with open fuckin' arms, you're dead wrong. No, I wasn't a knuckle-dragging sad sack. Just quiet, y'know? Reserved. I just let it happen to me. And it was fine.
I talked to my man Chris Pointon last Friday (we were doing our Draw Mob thing) about the turning 40 thing, and he talked about how he got through it by not looking at his life as a list of accomplishments, but a series of experiences. That worked for me. I've done some cool shit and seen some cool shit.
I hope there's more cool shit to come. God-willin', I'll be around to see it.
Friday, January 02, 2015
- Health. The usual stuff, really. Gotta get back on that horse. My wife and I started doing DDP Yoga last year, then we both got sidetracked by various ailments and depression. Time to eat right, and live right, because none of us are promised tomorrow.
- Drawing and Writing. More drawing. Every day, if possible. In fact, my Inktober endeavours have shown me that it is possible. Also, I'd like to do more custom letter stuff. I need to push my skills in that department. Maybe a calligraphy class is in order? Skillshare?
As far as writing goes...I really don't know. I use Tumblr for written expression now, way more than Blogger. I'm not sure what to make of that. Often I'm adding my two cents to something, or making sure folks know where a certain thing comes from, and who made it.
Is that truly expression, though? What am I bringing into the world? Gotta think about this a little more. Tumbleweeds tend to loom large at this here blog.
- The Business of Art. A full-time illustration career is still a bit of a dream, and I think it remains so because I haven't set goals to make it a reality. Save cash to leave day job, make promo items, contact art directors = GOALS. Now I just have to put those goals in order and write down the finer details. I may be over my fear of selling things, so that's something I can take a shot at doing.
- The Mint. Still haven't been there. This must be rectified.
- Debt. Still swimming in it. Maybe some inroads will be made in making it manageable.
- Other Cameras. My PowerShot cameras are pretty much dead. I want to use my Canon Rebel again, but I think I'm having battery issues. Guess I gotta take my shit over to Don's!
- Clothes. More pants, more socks, more underwear. Maybe some sleep gear? Definitely more t-shirts. In fact, New Japan stuff is a must.
- Tidiness. My workspace looked like this last year, and to some degree, it looks like that again. When you think about it, every portion of the house could use a bit of love. Let's spruce this joint up!
Sunday, August 31, 2014
I ain't been right. The following thoughts stemmed from a late night drive/junk food binge.
- That mess in my workspace has finally been cleaned up. I feel better, but I don't feel better enough...if that makes sense.
- I shouldn't deal with what ifs, because you can't change what's already happened, but I wonder what would've happened if I hadn't ended that date with (name withheld) on a handshake. What if I had taken her up on her invite to come inside? Would we have fucked or made out? Man, I think I could've used some casual sex in my life, although it would've flown in the face of my somewhat devout Christian lifestyle. I doubt I would've smashed a whole lot of honies. Probably would've been random hook-ups with women of all ages.
- I'm eating, because I should be doing something else. The past month has been a huge mental block, where I've been should've been getting this one thing done, but fear of failure/trying has kept me grounded. When I get a flicker of urge to do said thing, I eat or drink instead.
Or I get on the Internet.
- I've got six sample boxes of an ADHD drug to try, but I need to finish this MMPI-2 questionnaire first. It may fuck with my personality, and I want the test to be accurate.
- On nights like this, I hit the night in search of fresh air, and a tiny bit of excitement. I look at the night life types outside of Whiskey Dix with a mix of disdain and envy. Disdain, due to the whole bullshit night club experience. Envy, because of the unbridled enthusiasm of the participants. The goal is to have a good time, and maybe get a little somethin'. And if you're not tired by the end, the pursuit of a good time continues. Man, if you could bottle that shit.
- I'm wondering if I'll ever get over myself.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
My workspace, the Clifton Santiago Honeymoon Suite, is often in need of tidying. However, shit has gotten really out of hand. I'm tackling it while listening to an episode of Tell Me Something I Don't Know, and it's going VERY slowly.
But it's going. Slowly.
On the bright side of things, I've found my umbrella.