Thursday, November 28, 2002

For the first time in a while, SmackDown! sucked.
Happy Turkey Day to any Yanks that might be checking this. Despite the fact that Native folks in America have no reason to celebrate.

Sorry to seem sour, but you can't dispute the facts, man. Don't get mad y'all...I still have love for Americans!

Right now, I'm watching Los Guerreros vs. Benoit/Angle. 'Scuse me.
Did I mention that I think fake breasts are ghastly? Wasn't sure. The female body is already God's finest work of art.
You can't fuck with perfection, really. People still try though. Stupid.

Wednesday, November 27, 2002

Hot damn!! Just got a whole lot of posters from Jim Altieri, a poster dude from Pennsylvania. I didn't always like his work, but as time went on, I really began to see the wicked humor in his stuff. His use of type and his illustrations have gotten even better lately. He just did an awesome Life magazine cover spoof for a Clutch poster using a recent picture of Michael Jackson, doctored to look like Charles Manson. Brilliant! See his stuff
here
.
I tell you, as soon as I'm able to get my fucking webspace working, I'll post images here.
Kurt Halsey Frederiksen does some really nice stuff. I wish I had his sensitivity...I guess I'd figure that out if I drew more. Yeah, I'm sick of me complaining too. I'm an addict(to the web), and need therapy. Or a serious thrashing. I'm sure a thrashing would be cheaper. I'd just have to piss off someone at the Albert(the Royal Albert Arms...legendary live venue. Folks that actually drink would be able to tell you about their draft nights). 100% free ass-kicking! Anyway, I digress...check Kurt's site
here
. Very charming work.

Me and music. I love it and it's many "genres". I'm opinionated about it. Some would say I'm a "music snob". In fact, I'd say it myself! Given a chance, I'd make a "music snob" shirt. Having worked at a record store made me that way. I'm changing though...I'm more tolerant. People are different, different types of music move different people differently. What I just typed was probably an editor's nightmare. Anyway, here's where I stand on a few things:

Wankery Mistaken for Soul
American Idol was a prime example of this. excessive vocal pyrotechnics don't make up for true emotion in singing. That's just showboating, and it sucks ass. The blame lies squarely on the shoulders of Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston. Both fine singers, yes, but where's the soul for fuck's sake? Okay, Whitney came up through church, so she knows about fire n' brimstone, but she ain't Aretha. Mariah has a wide octave range, true, but does she make you feel anything? Not me. The late Minnie Ripperton does, however. That woman oozed love and sex, man. Mariah is vocal paper tiger compared to her.

Garage Rock = Rock n' Roll
What many people call "garage rock" is really what we all know and love as "rock n' roll", but it's cliched to say you like "rock n' roll". That's fucked, really. And another thing that's fucked is what passes for rock n' roll today...or "rock". ROCK? What the fuck happened to the roll, bitch? Rock n' roll was a euphemism for sex, and I'll tell you right now...Nickelback doesn't make me wanna fuck. This was supposed to be the year that garage rock "broke" with the White Stripes, the Hives, the Vines and the ubiquitous Strokes leading the way. Yeah tell that to Estrus Records, the mecca of garage. Are they reaping the rewards? Nope. Same with Dionysus, In the Red, Sympathy For the Record Industry, Norton and other labels that do this kind of shit. Another thing that gets me are the folks that say they hate all these "the" bands. What? That's SOOO fuckin' stupid. Like it's trendy to attach "the" to your name. Get the fuck outta here! Why don't we drop it from everything, then. Good idea, eh?

"Hey, Phil...been to that new bookstore, I see."
"Yup, got me some awesome titles, too."
"Really?"
"Yeah...check it out: "Hobbit", uh, "Scarlet Letter", and "Bible". And for kicks, an issue of "New Yorker".

Man...fuck you!

"There ain't no more good music out there..."
Don't make me laugh. There's tons! You just aren't looking hard enough, lazy slut. Read reviews in music mags...in fact, read the whole fuckin' thing! Search the web...it's pretty much endless for info. There's mad amounts of info out there...for us Canucks, one damn good place to turn is
Exclaim!
, a free magazine. Nationwide distribution and extensive coverage of pretty much all genres. You have no excuses, man.

Burnin'
Making a mix tape(in the hip-hop sense, and otherwise) or cd, is cool. Burning a whole album, not so cool...unless yer planning to buy the real thing sometime later, so you can balance your musical karma. Right now, you're just strapped for cash...I understand. Burning and album and selling it, with a wack laser print reproduction of the artwork? Evil.



Ah...I feel better. Keep in mind these are just my opinions. They don't have to mean anything to you.

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

I love
Clone High
. Fuckin' hilarious. Wicked writing, awesome sight gags, and great character design(I especially dig Joan of Arc's look[voiced by the lovely Nicole Sullivan]). It's a Canada/U.S. co-production with MTV all up in it.

It's fuckin' A.

Monday, November 25, 2002

Felt like posting this long-ass "review" for a show I was at a number of months ago. I was feeling kinda nostalgic. And now, after checking my use of slang, I'm feeling kinda queasy. The orignal and all the responses can be found at the Break Bread message board, part of the
Peanuts and Corn Records
site.

Hey y'all. I was surprised to see nothin' about this before I left to see it, but as they say..."it's all good". Anyway, if y'all missed the tour, Winnipeg was the last stop and it was one fuckin' awesome show!
Startin' things off were our Break Bread peoples: Gruf, Mister Pinkgitch, and the always busy DJ Hunnicutt. Knowing Break Bread was on the bill, a lot of people were expecting mcenroe and Pip to be there. They weren't, unfortunately, but the brothers on stage held it down regardless(in fact, they dropped an improptu ditty presumably called,"Where's Pip Skid and mcenroe?"). Gruf and Joey JoJo each dropped album tracks, including "Tooth and Nail", "The Plants", and "These @#$^%in' Gas Prices are Killing Me!" with the mighty Gumshoe Strut jumpin' on stage. Highlight of the night was Gruf doing his infamous "Weight of the World" routine, with Hunnicutt and John doing doo wop vocals. Both fun AND hilarious!

Ninja Tune's Bonobo was next dropping some downtempo/breakbeat-type shit. He defintely impressed me, and others judging by the asses shaking and whatnot. As usual, it takes Winnipeg time to heat up the dance floor. Many stood gawking. The beats he was dropping eventually won 'em over. Gonna have to pick up that album.

The illustrious Buck 65 then took the stage with a wave and a little scratch routine. As is the case with this dude, self-taught dance moves(my fave: The Dandruff Brush-Off), theatrical body gestures, and clever stage banter were on tap tonight. The most rabid of fans rhymed along with him on the familiar stuff(Centaur--with a sped-up beat!)and dropped some new jewels on us, including a joint he wrote that afternoon! I think he lost a few folks with the story he told about his old b-boy buddy that became a gangster, but it was entertaining nonetheless. He finished with his set with the ever-popular "Pants on Fire", which I fuckin' love. That bass makes me wanna cry.

I'll just say it right now...Anti-Pop Consortium RIPPED it. Minds were blown tonight, including mine. These dudes commanded the stage the moment they walked on it. APC makes atypical music, so naturally they had an atypical stage set-up. High Priest had a laptop and a small, multi-knobbed mixing console. Beans played one of those small, new wave-ish organs with the lever that distorts sound like a theremin(now that's something I'd like to see on a hip-hop album!). Sayyid represented wih a drum machine, playing it with his index fingers...with perfect timing, I might add. Together they opened the set with an other-worldly instrumental(one of many they played between songs), stunning the packed crowd. Once they started rhyming, the crowd was in their hands. All of them rocked it, without a doubt in my mind. It seems though that Beans was a real crowd fave...whenever he interjected with his mad bouncy flow, the crowd fuckin' ate it up! And say what you will about their odd instrumentation and production methods, their beats definitely had the muthafuckin' "nod factor" we all look for. Y'know...a lot of cats say it, so much so that it's a cliche, but APC is TRULY "on some other shit", dammit! I'm sayin', if Devo did hip-hop music, this would be it. If they're playin' in your town...RUN, DON'T WALK to the venue. These brothers'll knock yer fuckin' head off your shoulders...they're that good.

Sunday, November 24, 2002

I'm up way too late. If they call me in the morning, I'm fucked.
Ocean Spray® Cranberry Cocktail...I love it.
I'm gonna make one of my dreaded album "want" lists. Making lists is fun.

Friday, November 22, 2002

Thursday, November 21, 2002

Well, the plan tonight is to watch
Russ Meyer's Mudhoney
and actually use some of the porn I've got as drawing reference. We'll see what develops. Peace.
I just told my Gigposters peoples about the dumbest thing I ever did. You can read it
here.

Tuesday, November 19, 2002

Monday, November 18, 2002

Three days off, so far. That hasn't happened in a long time. I'm not complaining, though. The thing is, I like money like everyone else. I'm not crazy about working for it, that's the thing. Well, as far as this line of work goes, really(Housekeeping Services Attendant...a dirt samurai). If they call, I'll go, plain n' simple. Mom sorta warned me that the full-time and part-time folks would stop playing sick soon since Christmas is coming. Oh well. Whatever.

Some thoughts and/or statements:
- Carlos and Murphy's makes wicked Nachos con Pollo.
- See Miyazaki's Spirited Away. You can thank me later.
- Ricki Lake has been lookin' hotter to me lately. Laugh if you must, but motherhood's been good to her. I've been hearing that she may start doin' movies again.
- Having Tristan Taormino as a regular guest on her show this season has upped Ricki's hotness points in my book. Rrowr.
- Grabbed some cheesecake from Baked Expectations(Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip). Gonna wash it down with Ocean Spray Cran-Grape®. What else? Yeah, water's good too.
- Got me a FreeServers account, so maybe I'll post pictures n' whatnot here. We'll see.

Friday, November 15, 2002

If yer checkin' this out, don't be afraid to leave comments. Let me know yer out there! Please?
I believe I have neglected to mention that The Bird Machine does incredible work. Jay Ryan makes me wonder why I bother to pick up a pencil.

I must get away from this computer. Porn and living vicariously through other artists has sapped me of my creative muscle(yeah, I know...excuses, excuses. What do you expect from a pathetic soul like myself? It ain't all laughs, man. Intentional ones, anyway.)

Don't worry, I'm not suicidal. That's a bad career move.
Quote in my head lately: "Industry rule numer four thousand and eighty/record company people are shady/so kids watch your back/'cuz I think they smoke crack/I don't doubt it, look at how they act..." - "Check the Rhime" - A Tribe Called Quest, 1991
Gonna drink more cranberry juice.

Thursday, November 14, 2002

I survived work. Slept a lot. Talked to old friend in Virden. Didn't go to the Tegan & Sara show. Listened to Born in the Break instead. I think I made the right decision. Got me a glass of cranberry juice. It's good for the urinary tract, dontchaknow? Check Tastes Like Chicken for awesome comix, interviews, and illustrations by my man Dave Crosland. I'm SOOO envious of this dude. In a good way, mind you. Dude's got talent out tha ass. Oh yeah, his work is also featured in this month's Spin(check the last page...it's a Strokes car story).

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

The web addict that I am has been neglecting my poor, aged drawing desk. I had mad ideas when I came home...I still do. But the light sucks me in all the time. The fuckin' thing is like two feet away from me! Grrrr.

I'll be cleaning the urgent care area of the health care facility I work at. Not looking forward to it. I should be in bed.

Looks like I'm seeing Tegan & Sara for free tomorrow at the Pyramid. I'll stay as long as I'm entertained. I kinda dig 'em, but I have none of their stuff. I got a free pass from a cancer fundraiser I was at on Sunday. Judging from what I last saw on an installment of Much News, I should be in for some cute stage banter. These girls are kinda cute, actually. Twins, dontchaknow? And they've got the best haircuts of their young careers. A friend of mine refered to them as "those lesbian sisters" on his old radio show a couple of years ago. *ahem*

A thought...why are people so eager to see other folks get married? Maybe it'll be a while before they get things together financially...it'll happen eventually, forfuckssake!
Uh...I'm not talking about me.




Okay, you got me.
There's no meat in the house. And I'm freakin' on the inside. KRS-One was right..."it's the number one drug on the street!"
Random Thoughts:

Wrestling - I'm slowly falling out of love with it, and I don't like it. It's the WWE's fault. They've destroyed their major competion(the NWA territorial system*, the AWA, and WCW), leaving them as the only(big) game in town. Wrestling isn't hot right now, so on their flagship show(Raw), they've adopted a shitty shock value approach to their writing, alienating both the hardcore fans and the fairweather ones. The upside is that they save their Thursday night show(Smackdown!) for SOLID wrestling. The finest wrestlers on their entire roster are on that program. Despite that, Monday leaves a pretty nasty taste in my mouth. If I had more money, I'd be investing in tapes, for sure. There's a ton of good wrestling available that way, but fianancially, I have other things to consider.

*The NWA(National Wrestling Alliance) is still around, but it's a shadow of what it used to be. Back in the day, the NWA was POWERFUL.


Porn - I'm mad picky. I have a major hate-on for fake tits, so finding porn without 'em is tougher than leather(R.I.P. Jam Master Jay). I came home pornless tonight.


Blogger™ - This thing is fun! Using this, I'm slowly learning HTML. Yup, I'm happy. Al'z little self-indulgent corner of the web. Can you feel the love tonight?

Monday, November 11, 2002

This is what happens when I'm not called in for work. I sit on my arse instead of being productive. I'm gonna go out and live. Later, y'all.
The snow is finally here. I'm probably the only one in Winnipeg that actually looks forward to winter. Well, except the folks that make mad cash removing it. Winnipeg looks beautiful during the winter. I love it.

Uh...that is all.
Okay...just added a comment-type thingee. Gonna see if it works.

Sunday, November 10, 2002

I don't want to go to work. I'm a Dirt Samurai.
Did I mention that I have the most awesomest girlfriend in like, the whole fuckin' world?
Just wanted to make that clear.
I LOVE womankind. I love the way they walk, talk, masticate...everything. I'm king of the girlwatchers, man! Always on the lookout for a big girl with a big ass. Did I mention I love big women. Probably not. Women of all stripes drive me crazy, but a big girl will make me do backflips, bitch! As long as there are women in the world with plump behinds and flaring hips, and God doesn't eliminate me, the world shall have me around to deal with for a long time to come.

Yeah. I love women.

But no one, and motherfucker, I MEAN NO ONE, holds a candle to my lady.

Got it?

Just wanted to make that clear.

I don't know how long I'm gonna be doing this weblog thing. I'm sorta testing the waters at the moment. I figure once I get my shit together with this graphic design/illustration thing, I'll probably use this for quick updates on projects and stuff. Maybe I'll start a separate one for that purpose n' keep this one. We'll see.

I'm still hungry.
Spent time with my ladyfriend for the first time in a week...I love her SO much. But she had to go her way, and I had to go mine.
So it's back to the porn. Not for jack-off material...this time. I have a vivid imagination, so she'll be with me in spirit if I so choose to, uh, "set a place for one".
No, I was just adding to my now voluminous collection of jpegs. I've long planned to use these for reference material, but I'm sure I've mentioned somewhere that I don't draw enough and that I'm a lazy fuck. I did, didn't I? Let's see...

Hmmm...

Oh yeah! Check the bottom left of your screen. The "lazy fuck" is embellishment, however true.
Geez...I'm disgusting myself. And I'm hungry, yo. Later.

Saturday, November 09, 2002

Oh yeah, props to my man Louie Orbeta for teaching me a tiny bit of HTML. Thanx to him, I can add links to my online dementia. Peace.
To clarify: I'm not a drug abuser. The pills I made reference to in my second post are anti-depressants. My lack of them
are probably the reason behind my more-lame-than-usual disposition. It's guaranteed that if I was a drug abuser, it'd be a short career.
I'm sure I'd piss someone off early enough in my pill-poppin' days to end up dead. Not of an overdose, but due to a severe beating.
"He was like, whining...all the time. A guy can only take so much. So I fucked him up but good."
For the record, I don't drink either. No, I'm not a pussy. I've got no need for it.

Fuck this. I'm goin' to the Hun.
It worked! Cool...so like, click on it n' shit. Make money, fool! I did!

Well...no. I haven't. YET. But YOU can change that. Just by going here.
This is the last time I'll get commercial on you.
Okay...another test:
Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free

Friday, November 08, 2002

Still not in bed. Probably gonna visit The Hun before that happens. Oh yeah...I already did! Silly me.
Well, I'm goin' back. I know I missed stuff. http://www.thehun.com

I'm one sad sonofabitch.
Hey y'all...this is where I'm gonna, like, put my thoughts n' stuff. However profound, silly, or absolutely dull.
Lemme start it off with a bang...uh...I had something written down...um...I'll be right back.






Okay...found it! Sorry 'bout leaving you hanging like that. I wrote this down in my easy-to-carry sketchbook.
Here goes:

Friday Nov. 8 12:40 AM
I came to the village for porn. Instead I got cold hands and a sub.
Right now, my handwriting sucks and my right foot is asleep. I'm out of pills.
I suck.

Geez...that was worth waiting for, eh? And probably a little too sad and confessional.

I should go to bed.
This here is a test.