Allow me to be passive-aggressive for a moment...

Apparently, because I'm going to be a dad this year, I'm no longer allowed to acknowledge cool things. This came as news to me! All this time, I thought it was a healthy thing for someone to have interests outside of work and that it was possible to have these interests with offspring on the horizon. Well, I'm glad they straightened me out. I'm sure my son or daughter would rather have a dishwater-dull old man than a vibrant, pop culture-damaged idiot savant for a father.

Also, I've had more folks than I care to count (because that would mean taking an interest in something) tell me to get my gadgets now, because a child will fuck all of that up. Well, I'll be damned if that ain't some top notch advice. I mean, I knew I had to make certain sacrifices, but that notion hit me like a bolt of lightning! While I'm at it, I should stop buying comics, books, magazines, and music. Those items are frivolous and not at all life-affirming or informative, and my child should know that.

Thank you (hands clasped)...thank you for putting me on the right path, friends.